The Novelty of Normal

I am feeling SO much better this week. I feel better exponentially week by week. It's the most miraculous process: how the body heals itself, with a little help.

I feel like a whole person again. Full and not empty. Able to walk down the metro platform in the morning, with everything I need inside to take the next step and not even think about it. Remembering how depleted I felt just a few weeks ago and wondering how I got through.

I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel normal.

I can actually be nice to people without effort.

I don't have to sit down and take a breather after the monumental stress of un-jamming the copier.

I don't have to go upstairs and lie down on the floor and practice relaxation techniques after getting the runaround with the US Park Service on the phone, just trying to reserve camp sites for the church peeps.

I can ride the metro without knocking people over for a seat. Or having to play mind games to not get murderously mad at the driver for trying to throw us to the floor.

I can make it between meals here and there without having to stuff my face with whatever nuts or healthy crackers I can find in my desk.

And I don't think about me so much. Maybe that's the best part. To be freed from self-consumption and incessant introspection. I do enough of that without Addy's help.