Through my research and intuition, I've been able to pinpoint many of the contributing factors leading to Addy's takeover. Acute or prolonged stress is what brings it on, and stress is a part of life. But some stress can be avoided, and other stress we pile on ourselves for various reasons. I don't want to fall into the trap of self-condemnation. But it's been helpful to recognize some of my tendencies and issues that waste my energy:
Perfectionism: I can't rest until everything is checked off my to-do list; I have to hold it all together; being caught up in image; not being able to let go
Performance: my worth is based on what I do or produce for other people or organizations
Playing God: feeling responsible for people or events beyond what God meant for me to bear; being the safety net every time, the savior
People-pleasing: constantly trying to figure out what other people want from me and being that; inability to say no
Self-sufficiency: not accepting help when I need it, doing everything myself
Guilt: I am never doing enough
"Hurry sickness": rushing around because I've over-packed my day (since I'm never doing enough); always being late or in a hurry; feeling like the world will collapse if I don't get there, now
Not recognizing/embracing my limitations as a gift from God: wanting to do everything, and actually thinking I can; living at a high-intensity level non-stop; thinking that God wants me to sacrifice my body/health to get stuff done for Him
Not seeing health as a priority/not listening to my body (when it wanted a rest)
Working hard/playing hard without adequate down time and recovery afterward; not ever truly resting, but always being "on"
Trying to be something I'm not; working in the flesh; not believing the Gospel...that I am already justified, that "it is finished"
Whoa, I'm exhausted just reading over those. All of these heart issues are a constant drain on our energy. I have Addy to thank for getting my attention about these life-suckers. I repent, Lord. Do Your life-giving work in me.
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