I am feeling SO much better this week. I feel better exponentially week by week. It's the most miraculous process: how the body heals itself, with a little help.
I feel like a whole person again. Full and not empty. Able to walk down the metro platform in the morning, with everything I need inside to take the next step and not even think about it. Remembering how depleted I felt just a few weeks ago and wondering how I got through.
I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel normal.
I can actually be nice to people without effort.
I don't have to sit down and take a breather after the monumental stress of un-jamming the copier.
I don't have to go upstairs and lie down on the floor and practice relaxation techniques after getting the runaround with the US Park Service on the phone, just trying to reserve camp sites for the church peeps.
I can ride the metro without knocking people over for a seat. Or having to play mind games to not get murderously mad at the driver for trying to throw us to the floor.
I can make it between meals here and there without having to stuff my face with whatever nuts or healthy crackers I can find in my desk.
And I don't think about me so much. Maybe that's the best part. To be freed from self-consumption and incessant introspection. I do enough of that without Addy's help.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Simple Pleasures
I'd gotten so caught up in bigger and better highs, or just being busy, that I forgot how pleasurable is the everyday. Addy brought me back.
Have you ever felt that certain elation of taking good care of and nurturing yourself, like when you're washing your face or getting out of the shower or eating sprouts?
Have you ever been walking along the sidewalk back to your apartment building, hating the thought of going inside on such a fine April evening, and been surprised by a rose bush in full bloom...at the corner gas station? And of course you had to take the biggest one in your hand and hold it up to your nose, and try to capture the euphoria of a single whiff and make it last longer than a second, long enough to keep you happy for the next half hour.
Have you ever peeled a mango, while sitting in a Big Pink Chair with the balcony door open in the springtime, and felt yourself ascend the levels of heaven with each crude bright-orangey-yellow slice you stuck in your mouth? Only to run into the kitchen seconds later when too much juice ran down your arm and threatened to stain The Pink Chair.
Have you ever walked the same four blocks from the Metro down 7th Street that you walk every day, and caught sight of the intersection of Indiana and 7th--the blend of people and cars and concrete and marble and green leaves and Pennsylvania Avenue and Starbucks cups and clear morning air and the Mall in the distance--and just thanked God to be alive and work where you work and live where you live?
Have you ever (and this is my biggest thrill these days) sat at
your favorite restaurant (Teaism!) for the tenth day in a row (minus the weekend), surrounded by lunchtime buzz, and savored another spoonful of salmon ochazuke with a brave morsel of wasabe, chewing and leaning back against the wall, fleeing for your life with Darby Shaw or laughing out loud (unashamedly, for you are free!) at Jake Brigance's sarcastic quips, as you turn the page of your fifth John Grisham novel in three months?
Have you ever sat on the balcony of your apartment and just sat there? No book. No magazine. No laptop. Just you and the lounge chair and the silver railing and the green leafy great beyond.
Have you ever talked to the UPS man and had it be a highlight of your day? You had a real conversation with him, and it mattered, and you can remember what you talked about because your mind isn't cluttered with a thousand other conversations of the day.
Have you ever gotten a pedicure and felt like a queen? (Never fails!)
Have you ever let someone off the Metro before you or said good morning to the homeless man with the Southern accent who calls you darlin or smiled at the busboy, and felt the joy of treating people like people and not objects (for once)?
Have you ever heard the whisper of God when you're walking slowly down the street and felt that you wouldn't have if you were running?
Maybe life is more about depth than we think. Going deeper, feeling more pleasure with the things we already have rather than always looking for something new. Maybe that's what contentment means. Maybe that's the abundant life...the ability to see and enjoy to the fullest God's gifts all around us.
Have you ever felt that certain elation of taking good care of and nurturing yourself, like when you're washing your face or getting out of the shower or eating sprouts?
Have you ever been walking along the sidewalk back to your apartment building, hating the thought of going inside on such a fine April evening, and been surprised by a rose bush in full bloom...at the corner gas station? And of course you had to take the biggest one in your hand and hold it up to your nose, and try to capture the euphoria of a single whiff and make it last longer than a second, long enough to keep you happy for the next half hour.
Have you ever peeled a mango, while sitting in a Big Pink Chair with the balcony door open in the springtime, and felt yourself ascend the levels of heaven with each crude bright-orangey-yellow slice you stuck in your mouth? Only to run into the kitchen seconds later when too much juice ran down your arm and threatened to stain The Pink Chair.
Have you ever walked the same four blocks from the Metro down 7th Street that you walk every day, and caught sight of the intersection of Indiana and 7th--the blend of people and cars and concrete and marble and green leaves and Pennsylvania Avenue and Starbucks cups and clear morning air and the Mall in the distance--and just thanked God to be alive and work where you work and live where you live?
Have you ever (and this is my biggest thrill these days) sat at
your favorite restaurant (Teaism!) for the tenth day in a row (minus the weekend), surrounded by lunchtime buzz, and savored another spoonful of salmon ochazuke with a brave morsel of wasabe, chewing and leaning back against the wall, fleeing for your life with Darby Shaw or laughing out loud (unashamedly, for you are free!) at Jake Brigance's sarcastic quips, as you turn the page of your fifth John Grisham novel in three months?Have you ever sat on the balcony of your apartment and just sat there? No book. No magazine. No laptop. Just you and the lounge chair and the silver railing and the green leafy great beyond.
Have you ever talked to the UPS man and had it be a highlight of your day? You had a real conversation with him, and it mattered, and you can remember what you talked about because your mind isn't cluttered with a thousand other conversations of the day.
Have you ever gotten a pedicure and felt like a queen? (Never fails!)
Have you ever let someone off the Metro before you or said good morning to the homeless man with the Southern accent who calls you darlin or smiled at the busboy, and felt the joy of treating people like people and not objects (for once)?
Have you ever heard the whisper of God when you're walking slowly down the street and felt that you wouldn't have if you were running?
Maybe life is more about depth than we think. Going deeper, feeling more pleasure with the things we already have rather than always looking for something new. Maybe that's what contentment means. Maybe that's the abundant life...the ability to see and enjoy to the fullest God's gifts all around us.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Cut 'er off at the Pass
If you "or someone you know is suffering from these symptoms...." Am I starting to sound like a public service announcement? Well, so be it.
I wish I'd caught Addy earlier in her treacherous downward spiral. But thank God I caught her when I did. For some of my friends it took years to recover their health, or they are still working on it. After not catching their adrenal fatigue until they couldn't get out of bed or open their eyelids or were prescribed bed rest for six months.
If you have several of the symptoms or want to learn more, I recommend reading the excellent books out there on the subject. They helped me more than anything:
Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome by Dr. James L. Wilson is hands down the best resource on the subject that I have found. He seems to be the foremost doctor on adrenal fatigue and even formulated the herbal supplement my doctor prescribed. The book goes into detail on symptoms, how the body works, and exactly how to recover (what lifestyle changes to make, what to eat/drink and what not to, how much rest to get and when, etc.). His website is www.adrenalfatigue.org.
The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress by Dr. Archibald Hart is written from a Christian perspective and is very helpful in tracing contributing factors, learning to slow down, and seeing type A personality and our fast-paced culture from a new perspective.
Tired of Being Tired by Jesse Hanley gives lots of testimonials of people who "hit the wall" (as do the other books) and 10 lifestyle changes to get your energy back and live a healthy life. She goes into detail about nutrition. Have you found it helpful, Case? Hehe, shoutout.
Are Your Hormones Making You Sick? by Dr. Eldred Taylor (my doctor!) goes into great detail about how all the hormones of the body work and the delicate balance the body must maintain or else weird symptoms begin to emerge. He goes into great detail about estrogen and progesterone balance, as well as cortisol and thyroid. It's a good resource for women I think. (And now I feel embarassed for talking about estrogen...)
So #1, read these books, or at least the first one. If you feel as crappy as I did, you will devour whatever information you can find on the subject.
#2, get as much sleep and rest as you possibly can. 10-12 hours per night, no joke. Go to bed before 10 PM (before you get your second wind) and sleep as late as you can (7-9:00 AM offers the most restorative sleep for Addy sufferers...that's why I'm always late for work, Glenn...sorry).
#3, cut back on everything you possibly can: work, social life, activities, even exercise (don't push yourself). Be sensitive to your body and don't extend yourself beyond your limits if at all possible. If a panhandler is asking you for money and you feel stressed and suffocated, walk away. If you're at a crowded party and you can't hear yourself talk and nobody else can and it's driving you crazy, leave. If you don't feel like going out, stay home and watch a movie. This will be the hardest thing you've ever done, because the very things you love--being active and driven and conscientious and social--have put you in this state of fatigue. Your friends may not understand (mine have been great), and you may not be able to explain it to them. But you have to do this to get better, to be your true self again someday.
#4, cut out all sweets, caffeine, and alcohol from your diet. And avoid as much refined sugar, white flour, and processed food as you can. This is not as hard as you think if you feel like you have the flu all the time. These things are only dragging your body down and will greatly prolong the recovery process. Plus, if you don't have a life anymore, like me, it's not so hard to avoid them. And you can have fun with creative alternatives like Postum (coffee drink with no caffeine), green tea, treating yourself at your fav healthy restaurant every day for lunch even though it's expensive (that would be Teaism! and salmon ochazuke!), popcorn from your roomie's nifty hot air popper, brightly colored fruits (which aid in recovery) when you crave sweets, and dessert alternatives like yummy homemade yogurt parfaits. It's not so bad, nor is it forever. And if you fudge, you pay (as I did for 2.5 days last weekend).
#5, call my doctor in Atlanta and make a phone appointment. He's an alternative doctor, so insurance probably won't cover it. He's $250/hour on the phone, but if you've done your homework, you can just say these are my symptoms, I think I have adrenal fatigue, send me the saliva test...like I did, and save yourself some money. The saliva test (spit test my friends called it) is another $200 but totally worth the clear direction and peace of mind at nailing down a diagnosis. Sounds gross, and it is. You spit into one of four vials every 6 hours during the course of one full day (yes, vile). It's hard to work up that much spit. But...it could be a LOT worse. Then you stick the box in the mail, that simple. Adrenal fatigue does not show up on blood tests except in the most extreme cases (where your adrenal glands have completely shut down). A saliva test is the most effective way to measure cortisol, and taking it several times during the course of a typical day is also helpful in seeing trends. My cortisol level was way below the normal range in the morning and early afternoon, then rose in late afternoon and evening into the normal range. That is exactly on point with adrenal fatigue, and corresponded to how I felt during the day (unable to get out of bed in the morning, crash in mid-morning, crash in mid-afternoon, and then feeling better around 5:00...at the end of the work day, how convenient).
So Dr. Taylor's number is 678.443.4000, and he and his staff are super friendly and helpful. Of course they are, they're in Atlanta.
Also, please don't hesitate to contact me with questions or fears or whatever. janelDOTreidATgmailDOTcom
I wish I'd caught Addy earlier in her treacherous downward spiral. But thank God I caught her when I did. For some of my friends it took years to recover their health, or they are still working on it. After not catching their adrenal fatigue until they couldn't get out of bed or open their eyelids or were prescribed bed rest for six months.
If you have several of the symptoms or want to learn more, I recommend reading the excellent books out there on the subject. They helped me more than anything:
Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st Century Stress Syndrome by Dr. James L. Wilson is hands down the best resource on the subject that I have found. He seems to be the foremost doctor on adrenal fatigue and even formulated the herbal supplement my doctor prescribed. The book goes into detail on symptoms, how the body works, and exactly how to recover (what lifestyle changes to make, what to eat/drink and what not to, how much rest to get and when, etc.). His website is www.adrenalfatigue.org.
The Hidden Link Between Adrenaline and Stress by Dr. Archibald Hart is written from a Christian perspective and is very helpful in tracing contributing factors, learning to slow down, and seeing type A personality and our fast-paced culture from a new perspective.
Tired of Being Tired by Jesse Hanley gives lots of testimonials of people who "hit the wall" (as do the other books) and 10 lifestyle changes to get your energy back and live a healthy life. She goes into detail about nutrition. Have you found it helpful, Case? Hehe, shoutout.
Are Your Hormones Making You Sick? by Dr. Eldred Taylor (my doctor!) goes into great detail about how all the hormones of the body work and the delicate balance the body must maintain or else weird symptoms begin to emerge. He goes into great detail about estrogen and progesterone balance, as well as cortisol and thyroid. It's a good resource for women I think. (And now I feel embarassed for talking about estrogen...)So #1, read these books, or at least the first one. If you feel as crappy as I did, you will devour whatever information you can find on the subject.
#2, get as much sleep and rest as you possibly can. 10-12 hours per night, no joke. Go to bed before 10 PM (before you get your second wind) and sleep as late as you can (7-9:00 AM offers the most restorative sleep for Addy sufferers...that's why I'm always late for work, Glenn...sorry).
#3, cut back on everything you possibly can: work, social life, activities, even exercise (don't push yourself). Be sensitive to your body and don't extend yourself beyond your limits if at all possible. If a panhandler is asking you for money and you feel stressed and suffocated, walk away. If you're at a crowded party and you can't hear yourself talk and nobody else can and it's driving you crazy, leave. If you don't feel like going out, stay home and watch a movie. This will be the hardest thing you've ever done, because the very things you love--being active and driven and conscientious and social--have put you in this state of fatigue. Your friends may not understand (mine have been great), and you may not be able to explain it to them. But you have to do this to get better, to be your true self again someday.
#4, cut out all sweets, caffeine, and alcohol from your diet. And avoid as much refined sugar, white flour, and processed food as you can. This is not as hard as you think if you feel like you have the flu all the time. These things are only dragging your body down and will greatly prolong the recovery process. Plus, if you don't have a life anymore, like me, it's not so hard to avoid them. And you can have fun with creative alternatives like Postum (coffee drink with no caffeine), green tea, treating yourself at your fav healthy restaurant every day for lunch even though it's expensive (that would be Teaism! and salmon ochazuke!), popcorn from your roomie's nifty hot air popper, brightly colored fruits (which aid in recovery) when you crave sweets, and dessert alternatives like yummy homemade yogurt parfaits. It's not so bad, nor is it forever. And if you fudge, you pay (as I did for 2.5 days last weekend).
#5, call my doctor in Atlanta and make a phone appointment. He's an alternative doctor, so insurance probably won't cover it. He's $250/hour on the phone, but if you've done your homework, you can just say these are my symptoms, I think I have adrenal fatigue, send me the saliva test...like I did, and save yourself some money. The saliva test (spit test my friends called it) is another $200 but totally worth the clear direction and peace of mind at nailing down a diagnosis. Sounds gross, and it is. You spit into one of four vials every 6 hours during the course of one full day (yes, vile). It's hard to work up that much spit. But...it could be a LOT worse. Then you stick the box in the mail, that simple. Adrenal fatigue does not show up on blood tests except in the most extreme cases (where your adrenal glands have completely shut down). A saliva test is the most effective way to measure cortisol, and taking it several times during the course of a typical day is also helpful in seeing trends. My cortisol level was way below the normal range in the morning and early afternoon, then rose in late afternoon and evening into the normal range. That is exactly on point with adrenal fatigue, and corresponded to how I felt during the day (unable to get out of bed in the morning, crash in mid-morning, crash in mid-afternoon, and then feeling better around 5:00...at the end of the work day, how convenient).
So Dr. Taylor's number is 678.443.4000, and he and his staff are super friendly and helpful. Of course they are, they're in Atlanta.
Also, please don't hesitate to contact me with questions or fears or whatever. janelDOTreidATgmailDOTcom
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Energy-suckers
Through my research and intuition, I've been able to pinpoint many of the contributing factors leading to Addy's takeover. Acute or prolonged stress is what brings it on, and stress is a part of life. But some stress can be avoided, and other stress we pile on ourselves for various reasons. I don't want to fall into the trap of self-condemnation. But it's been helpful to recognize some of my tendencies and issues that waste my energy:
Perfectionism: I can't rest until everything is checked off my to-do list; I have to hold it all together; being caught up in image; not being able to let go
Performance: my worth is based on what I do or produce for other people or organizations
Playing God: feeling responsible for people or events beyond what God meant for me to bear; being the safety net every time, the savior
People-pleasing: constantly trying to figure out what other people want from me and being that; inability to say no
Self-sufficiency: not accepting help when I need it, doing everything myself
Guilt: I am never doing enough
"Hurry sickness": rushing around because I've over-packed my day (since I'm never doing enough); always being late or in a hurry; feeling like the world will collapse if I don't get there, now
Not recognizing/embracing my limitations as a gift from God: wanting to do everything, and actually thinking I can; living at a high-intensity level non-stop; thinking that God wants me to sacrifice my body/health to get stuff done for Him
Not seeing health as a priority/not listening to my body (when it wanted a rest)
Working hard/playing hard without adequate down time and recovery afterward; not ever truly resting, but always being "on"
Trying to be something I'm not; working in the flesh; not believing the Gospel...that I am already justified, that "it is finished"
Whoa, I'm exhausted just reading over those. All of these heart issues are a constant drain on our energy. I have Addy to thank for getting my attention about these life-suckers. I repent, Lord. Do Your life-giving work in me.
Perfectionism: I can't rest until everything is checked off my to-do list; I have to hold it all together; being caught up in image; not being able to let go
Performance: my worth is based on what I do or produce for other people or organizations
Playing God: feeling responsible for people or events beyond what God meant for me to bear; being the safety net every time, the savior
People-pleasing: constantly trying to figure out what other people want from me and being that; inability to say no
Self-sufficiency: not accepting help when I need it, doing everything myself
Guilt: I am never doing enough
"Hurry sickness": rushing around because I've over-packed my day (since I'm never doing enough); always being late or in a hurry; feeling like the world will collapse if I don't get there, now
Not recognizing/embracing my limitations as a gift from God: wanting to do everything, and actually thinking I can; living at a high-intensity level non-stop; thinking that God wants me to sacrifice my body/health to get stuff done for Him
Not seeing health as a priority/not listening to my body (when it wanted a rest)
Working hard/playing hard without adequate down time and recovery afterward; not ever truly resting, but always being "on"
Trying to be something I'm not; working in the flesh; not believing the Gospel...that I am already justified, that "it is finished"
Whoa, I'm exhausted just reading over those. All of these heart issues are a constant drain on our energy. I have Addy to thank for getting my attention about these life-suckers. I repent, Lord. Do Your life-giving work in me.
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